Zoe: Fuck this wind off!
Me: Fuck your face off!
Zoe: You can't say that...
Just wanted to let you know that I read this story a while ago and as an...– ChantelPereira (on my story ‘Blink’)
I feel like I wouldn’t even love my own child as much as I love that show.– Me (about Game Of Thrones)
This is a rap song I wrote to express how I feel about my friend Fairchild. I’m particularly proud of the third verse. Let’s battle already Kanye! Fairchild, ya make a brother go wild, Ya got all ma documents filed, My love fo you, that shit ain’t mild, Throw you on the floor, make a love child. Fairchild, motherfucker, Damn you betta pucker, Or I’ll fuck you like a...
Bulletproof condom, when I’m in these hoes. Got staples on my dick, why?...– Kanye West (in Illest Motherfucker Alive)
Awesome Things That I Learnt Tonight
Here are just some of the wonderful things I learnt tonight (what an excellent night it was!). In no particular order: Fairchild is not Fairchild’s first name. Listening to movie soundtracks at a party is cool. I would totally have sex with an android, especially if it looked like Zooey Deschanel. Horse heads are cool, and Andy Green is the horse master. Being overtired and being...
Kate told me a very funny joke today.
She said that Nadal had been knocked out in the first round of a clay-court masters tournament. N00b. I lol’d so hard.
The Document Wallet Masta, That's Me!
Picked up an assignment from uni the other day. Didn’t care much for the mark or the assignment, so I did what any self-respecting person would do and threw it in the bin (recycling of course, i’m not a savage). However, I was then left with a document wallet. I wasn’t going to carry it around with me because it would have been super annoying and I wasn’t going to throw it...
Author George R.R. Martin was asked if he had a resolution or ending to the seemingly endless conflict. He replied that the end would be a cloud of dust or snow being driven by the wind across a vast graveyard full of tombstones.
Is that porridge or just oats?– Me